‘Okay,’ I say, relishing the
secrecy of our mission. ‘Elle, now!’
Elle reaches to her right and
flicks on the enormous TV beside her. She presses another button and the volume
rockets all the way up. Then she starts flicking between channels. The result
is deafening, the various presenters and actors on screen merging together like
they’re telling us a new, hidden message.
Mr Yates and the woman jump and
he falls backwards off his seat. She screams, shrill with the sort of pitch
that would crack a window.
With beautiful poetic timing,
that’s exactly what happens. The huge floor to ceiling windows overlooking the
river crack as one. There is a squeal almost too high for the human ear to
register, and the windows shatter, becoming opaque with an infinity of white
spider’s web cracks and then the panes fall to the ground like a curtain
dropping from a stage.
The woman is screaming, stamping
her stilettoed feet on the ground until one of them breaks and she falls over. Mr
Yates has crawled into a corner, pulling books from a shelf and a chair towards
him. He must think his world is ending.
I nod to Elle and Yates,
grinning from ear to ear and we seize various bits of furniture.
Elle knocks a series of picture
frames with no pictures in to the ground, moving to a shelf of first edition
books that have never been read. She seizes one particularly expensive looking
volume and begins tearing pages with relish.
Mr Yates sees this and actually
lets out a dramatic shout of: ‘No!’
I grab two uncomfortable looking
leather chairs and begin to shake them, dragging them across the floor towards
the old man.
Now he starts to scream. And we’re
only just getting started.
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