Above the Vaulted Sky - Page 222

                ‘You’re right there,’ Upson says. ‘Sometimes I love it. The togetherness…’ he takes a breath like the oppression of the Abyss has left him just from this simple act. ‘There’s nothing like it, but then you wonder? The thing we always wonder. Why are we here? Aren’t we just scared of what’s next? Scared to take that leap and find something better? Even if that thing was what we left behind.’ He takes a pause. ‘I don’t know, it’s just a thought.’

                He folds into himself suddenly. I wonder how long he’s been aching to get that thought off his chest. He looks almost guilty to have thought it at all.

                ‘That’s what led me to science,’ I say. ‘Back home, back when I was alive, I loved it. It wasn’t to disprove anyone, or to hurt or offend anyone, but I guess I’ve always had that feeling. That there was more to the world than we could see. I guess some people turn to faith. I wish I could have more faith. But I turned to science, to fact and exploring the world around me. I miss that. The desert cuts me off and I’m constantly feeling like I might sink in the sand…’

                I stop. I’m not accustomed to being so open with someone I’ve just met. Maybe it’s the Abyss. The fear makes us search for companionship, so we spill our secrets and our deepest thoughts so we might know our fellows better.

                ‘Aside from the terrifying hole in creation and the constant impending sense of doom, I’m glad I came down here,’ I say.

                ‘I think when you truly have nothing like this, not even a sense that there might be an escape, you take a new perspective,’ Upson says. He gestures ahead of him. ‘Look, Easton, is that him.’

                I follow his finger and concentrate on what appears to be a mass on the edge of the world. A man shaped mass surrounded by heat and cold and loneliness. I can hear him.