Tuesday 25 February 2014

Above the Vaulted Sky - Page 56

               It’s strange to think that as different as we are in life, in death we are all connected by the same things. The abilities we gain, the things we lose, the ever present threat of the Edge. I am the same as those thousands of people in the Colosseum. I can close my eyes, reach out to them and know what they’re feeling in the here and now.
                We spend our lives labelling each other, black, white, gay, straight, woman, man, but when it comes down to it, as your spirit leaves your body does any of that matter? At our base, we are one and the same. What does it matter who you love or what colour your skin is when you can both be trapped inside yourself, unable to escape.
                It makes me want to get a can of red paint and write on the wall of the Colosseum, a message to all the haters reminding them what’s important. I dread to think how many spirits live on after death, still affected by the hate they experienced in life; just like Yates. This is a sad place, and the horror of its history lives on, and it’s been packaged and sold for people to stare at.
                Who ever said time is a healer really hadn’t been hurt that much. Tell that to the Gladiators, tell that to Holocaust victims.
                I turn away, knowing my Penny won’t have stayed here.
                The urge to help someone is greater than before. I know I did nothing wrong in my life, nothing unspeakable, but being connected to these people, screaming for eternity, makes me feel a guilt that I can’t escape, because I lived a relatively happy life.
                So as I turn away, I walk with the desire to help.
                I know Penny will want to do the same. I try to ignore the nagging doubt clawing its way forward in my mind. The doubt that tells me that I’ll never be able to find her.
                I sit down on the kerb, looking back at the building. What can I do? There must be a way. Why didn’t we plan for this? If we ever die, meet at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentines Day. In true romantic style. But we have no such plan. There are a thousand places Penny could be.
                What even do I do with myself? I am free from the restraints of life. I don’t have to go to college or get a job, go to university or do anything that could be considered stressful.
                But if I can’t do that, and I can’t do anything else, what do I have left?

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