Box Set - Chapter Nineteen

                   I always feel an atmosphere in the room after a big argument. The memory of Graham's words hangs on the air like a bad smell. I never like to be the one who says something first but I always feel like it is. Crack some joke, try to make someone feel better, I was always quite good at it, but now I have no idea what to say.

                  'Honestly, Yates,' Elle says. Her hand still on his arm. 'Don't listen to a word he says. He's such a dick.'

                  'Dick, isn't the word,' Yates says, layering scorn on the word like it tastes dirty. 'I saved his life.'

                  'He'll come round,' I say, admiring Elle's tone, the way she can appear sympathetic and utterly on Yates's side all at once.

                  'What if I don't want him to come around?'

                  'Is there anything we can do, Easton?' Elle asks.

                  'First thing I'm going to do is slap him,' I reply. 'After than we'll think about it. I'm not having him talk to anyone like that.'

                  My fists are balled so tight I think I can feel my nails digging into my skin. I storm across the room and throw the door open.

                  Graham stands on the other side of it, leaning against the wall. He looks as angry as I feel. 

                  'Oh, so you listened then?' I say. 'Not gone downstairs and fallen to pieces?'

                  'Well, I don't want to hurt him either,' he replies.

                  'You care about Yates?' I snap. 'Really? After that performance? Stop kidding yourself, Graham.'

                  'Look,' he says. 'I snap sometimes, I have a quick temper.'

                  'And that's an excuse?' I say. 'Go back in there right now and apologise.'

                  'Alright, Dad.' Graham snorts.

                  I want to hit him. Graham does this, explodes, causes hurt to everyone around him and then acts like it was no big deal.

                  'Don't do that,' I say. 'You can't treat people like that.'

                  Graham sighs. 'I don't know what you want me to say.'

                  'Why did you blow up like that,' I say.

                  'Because you pushed me,' Graham says. 'Digging at my mum and dad.'

                  'And you weren't,' I reply. 'That's not it.'

                  Graham goes silent. He looks at his shoes.

                  'You like him, don't you,' I say. 'I've seen you looking at him, all the way through London.'

                  'That wasn't it,' Graham says, too quickly. 'He reminds me of someone.'

                  'You can lie to yourself if you want. You can lie to Yates, you can lie to me and Elle. Do what you like. Just don't treat a human being like that.'

                  Graham nods slowly. 'I know I shouldn't have.'

                  Come on, I nod.

                  We go back into the room. Graham follows sheepishly, kicking his heels.

                  'I'm going, Elle, you can't stop me,' Yates says, as soon as we reenter.

                  'Easton,' she says. 'Please help me.'

                  'Let go of me, Elle.'

                  I cross the room and grip his arm. 'Yates, I won't let you do that. You'll die.'

                  Yates nods and looks down. Sometimes you know when your words have fallen on deaf ears.

                  'Yates,' Graham says. In his apology voice. I know the apology voice so well. It's the cloying voice that melts the heart of any grandma. I can imagine he never got in trouble as a child.

                  'What do you want?' Yates replies.

                  'To apologise,' he says.

                  'For how long? How long until the freak irritates you?'

                  'I didn't mean it,' Graham says. 'I nearly just died.' He laughs, trying to make light of it. Graham's apology tactic number two.

                  'Maybe we'd all be better off.'

                  Elle squeezes his arm. Yates drops his head and stays quiet.

                  'I deserved that,' Graham says.

                  'Yeah, you did,' says Elle. 'Dick.'

                  Yates snorts. Tears roll down his face but he's ceased to cry.

                  'I really am sorry,' Graham says.

                  I wonder if he does like him. Did he ever love me like he said he did? I've never really imagined Graham liking anyone. He always seemed to exist simply to take the piss and annoy people. I know his parents have always made him insecure. Everyone knew how rich he was at school. You couldn't go a day without someone stealing his money for lunch or later on just pushing him around through the corridors. That's why we met originally, we were two outcasts.

                  Then I met Penny, and he distanced himself.

                  Graham needs to grow up and this is going to be a test for him.

                  'We'll find a way separate you,' I say. 'It won't be like this forever.'

                  'I wouldn't care,' Graham says. We all look at him. Truth or just trying to keep his friends. 'Thank you for saving me, Yates.'

                  'You're welcome,' he replies, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

                  'My parents will kill me if they knew I'd got married without telling me.' He laughs.

                  We all smile, but that's all he's going to get.

                  'So I'm a ghost now,' he says. 'A proper ghost?'

                  'I think so,' I say. I feel like I'm breaking a rule for talking. Elle still snarls at him, he can't just get out of trouble with a few ill-conceived words.

                  'Close your eyes,' says Yates.

                  Graham obeys him. 'Now what?'

                  'Reach out,' Yates says. 'Think about us in the room.'

                  'Oh, wow,' Graham says. 'I can see you.'

                  'That's the Edge,' I say.

                  'See - ghosts - cool,' Graham says, opening his eyes again.

                  His eyes rest on Yates. Did he see what he'd done to him? I know how he must be feeling right now.

                  'What are we going to do now?' Graham asks.

                  I sigh. 'Whatever we want.'

                  'We could follow Teague?' Yates suggests.

                  'I don't know what we can do to him,' I say. 'I say we just find somewhere to think for a while, away from this room.'

                  Everyone nods. 'Where do you want to go?' Graham says.

                  'There's the best ice cream place downstairs,' Elle says.

                  'Sounds like a plan,' I say.

                  We exit the room one by one. Graham goes last. I close my eyes. He's the same old Graham,  happy but not shining too bright. He shines like a dimmed light. Is he guilty?

                  We're downstairs in a second and only just realise that it's still night time.

                  'Little bit of breaking and entering anyone?' Elle says. 'Their lemon flavour's to die for.'

                  Yates smiles and she takes his hand walking across the square. I follow, letting Graham bring up the rear.

                  We cross the square and pass through the closed shutters of the ice cream place.

                  Before long we're strolling outside licking multi-coloured ice creams. It's different to ice cream I've had before. More refreshing, like having the coldest drink on the hottest day.

                  We sit down on the edge of the fountain.

                  Graham is on my right and Yates in on Elle's left, meaning they're as far away from each other as they can be. I want to know if it's Yates being rightfully annoyed or Graham being Graham.

                  'Tense evening,' Elle says.

                  'Why were you here, Elle?' I ask.

                  'What do you mean?'

                  'I just bumped into you as I came barrelling out of the hotel, and you came with me. I never asked why you were here in the first place. You could have been visiting a sick relative for all I know.'

                  'Just wandering,' says Elle. 'Seriously, seeing all the places I wanted to see. Finding strangers to have adventure with.'

                  Maybe I've been hanging around with too many people like Teague, but I don't trust her words.

                  'I say we help you find Penny,' she says.

                  'You guys don't want to be doing that,' I say.

                  'We want to help, Easton. We were talking about it when you were gone.'

                  'Even Graham?' I ask.

                  'Oi,' says Graham. 'I'm not evil, you know.'

                  I hit him and he nearly falls back into the fountain. His arms flail around and splash the water. The remaining tourists in the square turn to look.

                  'Oh, that's not going to get old,' Graham says, poising his arms to splash the water again.

                  Elle rolls her eyes and reaches across me. One sharp shove and Graham falls into the water, backside first.

                  A few people start. No one screams. They must just think the fountain's malfunctioned.

                  Graham surfaces and ejects water from his mouth. 'Was that necessary?'

                  'Completely and utterly,' Elle smiles as we crack up laughing, licking our ice cream in Rome on the perfect evening.

            Graham climbs out of the water and sits down.

            ‘The best way we can find her is to split up,’ Elle says, raising one eyebrow, deep in thought.

            ‘Maybe we should stick together,’ Yates says.

            ‘Look, Yates,’ says Graham, ‘don’t worry, I’m nice, honest.’

            ‘That remains to be seen,’ says Yates. ‘Look, I want to find Penny too, but hadn’t we better look around for an end to our…predicament?’

            ‘But the only person we know who knows anything about Ghost Physics is Teague?’ I say. ‘Unless Benjamin knows a thing, but the first time we know where he’s going to be is next Friday?’

            ‘There might be something in Thacker’s notes!’ Yates says, lifting the bag as if he’s just remembered for the first time. ‘Though…’

            ‘What?’ Elle asks. ‘We can study them if you want?’

            ‘Just, I don’t want them to go out of order. God knows what he’s done to them.’

            ‘I can help,’ Graham says.

            We all stop and look at him.

            ‘What? Like I can’t do a nice thing. I owe you.’

            I look Graham in the eye. I’ve yet to develop telepathy in my ghostly arsenal, but I tried to communicate to him the idea to behave, to be humble for once in his life.

            ‘You’d help me?’ he asks.

            ‘Of course,’ he says. ‘Two heads are better than one.’

            Yates considers it. Me and Elle look back and forth between them.

            ‘Alright,’ he says. ‘And while we study, you two can go and look for Penny.’

            ‘Are you sure?’ I say. I feel selfish. But everyone here wants to help me. Does that mean I should be selfless and help them?

            ‘We’ll report back every day,’ Elle says. ‘There’s an Irish bar called Finnegan’s near the Coliseum that’s pretty quiet during the day.’

            ‘We’ll be there,’ Graham says.

            Yates stays quiet. I wonder was he thinking of returning to his house.

            ‘OK, plan,’ Elle confirms. ‘Right, science boy. Where to?’

            I consider for a second. There are so many places Penny always wanted to go. I could list them off and go on and on all night.

            ‘She loved Hyde Park,’ I say. ‘We always went there. The café’s so expensive but when it’s nice you can sit outside and bring your own stuff and be sneaky. We always used to.’

            ‘We’ll start there then,’ Elle says. ‘Maybe she’s waiting there for you.’

            I nod.

            We’ve been through a lot in a short amount of time, but I know I have friends here, and something to go on living for.  I think the trick is to believe that one day Penny’s path will cross with mine again.

            As me and Elle hold hands, disappearing into the Edge and leave the boys behind, we step into the unknown. If my three days dead has taught me anything, maybe that’s a good thing.

End of Volume One