‘You’re really making a mistake you know,’ Teague warns as we enter the hayfield again.
‘And what mistake would that be?’ I snap.
The moleskin man’s become more of an irritation than a danger. He obviously has talent; he managed to change the state and consistency of every single one of his atoms. He figured out how to jump between life and death, but at what cost? His value for life was clearly non-existent, at least until he becomes concerned with his own.
‘Thacker, boy, Thacker!’ he says. ‘It was all there in The Alchemist!’
‘So I’ve heard,’ I say. People were drawing perilously close to ruining my favourite novel for me. I wish I could just curl up in a chair and read it, enjoy the story of Cecily as she falls in love with a dead boy, how they run through the London underworld and fend off the pursuers who want to find the fortune of a long dead man. Now, Thacker’s book has become tarnished by being true. People truly want the secrets of a dead man. I can see the appeal, from a living perspective I would have been fascinated on a Yates-ean level. Now, tied together with a madman who wants me dead again to save his own skin, I’d be happy if I never ever heard the name Robin Thacker.
‘Such an underappreciated talent,’ Teague muses as we part the grass with our footsteps. ‘All the novels studied for their content and this one was missed. Do you know they thought him mad?'
‘I can’t say I’m surprised.’ I layer sarcasm on my words, like too much butter on a piece of toast. I must thank Elle for her infectious mannerisms.
‘It taps in on that most human characteristic,’ he says. ‘That pathetic lust for the lost. I’ve heard so many accounts, voices heard in abandoned houses, lonely old folks who hear a voice talking to them. We simply refuse to believe that we cease to be.’ He snorts. ‘I know even the most devout atheist cries for the divine when their last moments approach.’
‘Please spare me the lecture,’ I say as I nudge open the front door of the cottage. It’s been left open, this already sets a pool of worry flowing into my chest. ‘And we want to find the lost because we love them. Do you know what that feels like….drop that!’ I snap and bat the remote control from his grasp. It flips over twice in the air before shattering on the ground. I’m guessing about a hundred separate little components fly across the flagstone floor.
‘You little idiot!’ he snarls.
‘Oh I’m sorry, just living over here,’ I say to him. ‘Don’t try that again.’We walk through the hallway, the silence inside already answers my questions.
‘Try what again? You’ve butchered my equipment.’
‘My friend knocked one of them together in about fifteen minutes,’ I reply. ‘I’m sure you’ll manage.’
‘What your friend knocked together was a way to make the dead visible to the living, that’s child’s play compared to what my device could do.’
I turn to him, still gripping his arm. ‘But still, you built one before, you can build one again, this time preferably without the surprising side effect of turning yourself into an atom bomb.’
He scoffs. ‘You’re exaggerating a bit there. My little mishap would have destroyed the house at worst.’
I move away from him, not even dignifying his response with a reply. He won’t try and run, I’m not even sure he knows how. Right now he’s trapped as a ghost, just like the rest of us.
I enter the living room and find it deserted. I cast around for a second, at a loss for what to do.
Think, where would they go?
‘Oh surprise, surprise,’ Teague says, sauntering into the room. I wonder does he know how to travel, could he leave if he wanted to. I know if I leave him he’ll just follow me. It’s like he’s an extremely clever bad penny. ‘Friends abandoned you, they always do.’
‘Oh great, a sob story, you might as well start singing. I’ll provide the violin.’
Teague twists his face into mock laughter, aimed in my direction. People say that maths and science are the universal language, I’m beginning to think it’s sarcasm.
What were we talking about before I touched the scorch-mark?
‘Think of the possibility, Easton, please,’ he says. ‘What if letting go meant something more than you could possibly imagine?’
‘I can imagine quite a lot, I’m good like that.’
‘Unlimited knowledge, understand, a way with the world!’ He sounds like a zealot, peddling his fanaticism on a doorstep.I make it look like I’m considering the option. ‘I’ll stick with my limited knowledge, thanks.’
Teague throws his hands in the air like he’s at the end of his tether.
‘If this afterlife of yours and Thacker’s is so great, why don’t you let yourself go now?’ I ask. ‘You’re a ghost, just float away like dust on the wind.’
‘Because I’m not dead, yet,’ explains Teague, adopting the schoolteacher gaze once more. ‘I’ve taken on the form of the dead, I’ve merely expanded the parameters of my molecular structure.’
‘Well lucky you,’ I say. ‘I tell you what,’ I continue. ‘How about we play the ‘who can keep quiet the longest’ game while I wonder where my friends might have gone.’
‘We could revisit my lab in Rome?’ Teague suggests.
I make the ‘uhp uhp’ sound adults make when they keep loud children quiet. I hold up my finger and place it on my lips. Teague had worn my patience away a long time ago, somewhere between chasing me through my memories and becoming a preacher. I can only imagine what sort of fun and games he’d conjure if we went to his lab. In his own territory he can do what he likes. I’ve made it my personal mission to keep the man under control.
I cast my mind back to before I disappeared, we had been discussing going to New York to find Benjamin. For all my friends know, that’s their only solution to finding me again. If they’re looking at all.
I shake my head, of course they’re finding me. I can imagine Elle leading the way, getting the two boys to pull their weight.
‘Come on,’ I say.
‘You lose.’ He smiles.
I don’t reply. I grab his hand and make as good an image as I can for New York City. I don’t remember going there as a child but I remember visiting the station with Yates. I think of the bustle, the sea of people and the constellations mirrored on the turquoise ceiling. I think of the announcements and the noticeboards and the smell of pretzels on the air.
I feel a lurch as we enter the Edge. I don’t know where I’m going, that much is clear to me. I hear Teague cry out beside me. I relish the fact that I’m causing him some discomfort, to him it must feel like he’s travelling on a rollercoaster, blind and paralysed. At least I have a destination in mind.We jerk to a stop and Teague flies forward to sprawl on the polished floor.
‘Some warning would have been lovely,’ he sneers.
‘Come on,’ I ignore him. ‘We’ve got to find Central Park.’
‘Some insight into your plans would be greatly appreciated,’ he says, pulling himself to his feet and dusting off his jacket. The morning sunshine falls through the windows of the station, a serene sight that contrasts the commuter chaos around us. I wonder is this place ever quiet?
‘The less you know the better,’ I say. ‘You’ll forgive me, but when someone tries to kill me and acts like it’s no big deal, I tend to get a little guarded.’
Teague puts his hands up, palms facing outwards. ‘Just trying to help.’
‘You were helping yourself,’ I say. ‘Don’t make out like you were doing any different.’
We march through the station. I let people pass through me, part of me feels bad as I see some of them shudder. Teague still dodges around them, bound by the mind-set of the living.
‘So this Penny,’ he says.
I glare at him. So he’s seen more than he lets on in my thoughts. I feel a prickle on the back of my neck.
‘Do you think you’ll find her again?’
‘Why do you care?’
‘Just making conversation,’ he replies. ‘Must everything we say be a verbal duel?’
‘Yes, if you must know, I do,’ I say.
‘And why do you say that?’ Now he sounds like a therapist. How many more irritating personas does this man possess?
‘Because I think people always come together when they should,’ I say, because I do. I’ve known me and Penny were a fit from that first day by the smoking hut, nothing’s changed. People always said that the ones you love appear when they’re supposed to, not when you need them. I’ve come to realise that this is true. Not that it stops me wanting to see them now. I feel a sudden need to see my Mum and Dad. Maybe it’s because my memory of this place is so connected to them, maybe I just need a friendly face from the world of the living.
‘And yet you refuse to believe in anything after this life.’
‘I’m implementing a three strikes and I begin to hit you rule,’ I say as we emerge into the daylight. ‘I’d advise you don’t test it.’I swing past an information desk and pilfer a map of the city. I wish I had my phone with a map function. Something tells me ghosts aren’t allowed much of a data allowance.
I open the map and recognize the shape of Manhattan from too many films. I quickly pinpoint Grand Central and orient myself to look towards the green space of the park in the middle of the map.
‘Don’t tell me, top of the Empire State Building,’ says Teague. ‘Romance isn’t dead after all.’
I feel a skip in my chest as I remember that Penny had always wanted to see the top of the Empire State. I could just leave and see if she was up there. But then I have the problem of Teague following me around. I can just imagine our reunion.
I’ve missed you so much, Penny.
Well, yeah, I’ve missed you too, but I didn’t know we were bringing people. You should have phoned ahead.
I eye the bag, still sitting on Teague’s shoulder. All of Yates’s research. How do I get it back from him? He’s not just going to hand it over and he’s bigger than me. I can lead him around and hold him to ransom with the promise of returning him to the land of the living, but he’s bigger than me, overpowering him will be difficult.
‘We’re going to Central Park,’ I reply. I figure I might as well tell him. What’s he going to do? Set some pigeons on me?
‘How lovely,’ he states with a deadpan quality in his voice. ‘Did you bring a picnic?’
I take to ignoring him and start outside into the sunshine. The park is a short walk away, straight down 5th Avenue. We should be there in 15 minutes.
‘I could research,’ Teague says. ‘In my lab, I’ll find another way. Easton, I want to appeal to your nature, your good nature. I don’t have much time.’
‘How about you lead with that next time?’
He looks down at his feet as we turn onto the long avenue. I regard the shops on either side, noting how similar it looks to a London street until you look up. The bustle is definitely the same. I wish I had the time to explore. I can only imagine all the secret places I could find with a little ghostly assistance.
‘We will go you your lab, but when I find my friends. We’ll do the research, with your assistance. Like it or lump it.’
Teague falls silent. He knows I have him. His silence is punctuated by an air of worry and self-pity and I feel the better part of myself tug. I will it to keep quiet. It’s the sort of nice side that doesn’t stand up for itself, and keeps quiet when it needs to speak up.
‘How long do you have?’ I ask.
‘There’s no way of knowing,’ he says kicking his feet.
He looks at his shoes and kicks his heels. He’s like a child who hasn’t got his way.
‘Look, Teague,’ I appeal. ‘We’ll fix this, we’ve got three people who can work on this, you me, and my friend Graham. We won’t let you die, Teague.’
He shrugs. Teenager now, having a strop. I give up with him.
We walk in silence down the street. It’s busy, being the middle of the day. Cars fill the road and I catch the glimpse of the occasional trademark yellow taxi. The same old stores fill shops either side of me and I wonder is there a city in the world untouched by a coffee chain. A high flying business type walks towards us, chatting on his phone, barging past people in front of him. I have the express urge to knock the paper coffee cup from his hand. My fingers itch but I refrain. With great power comes great responsibility.
A little while later, the green tinge of the park appears around the corner. We walk a little further until we come to an entrance, dodge around park-goers. I stop and think for a second. There are kids everywhere and I remember it is a Saturday. I steal a glance at the man next to me. A man I know is prone to exploding and not caring who he hurts.
‘Don’t worry yourself, Easton,’ he says. ‘I’m not going to hurt the kiddies. I’m not a monster.’
I don’t reply. How well does he know me? Anyone can tell what someone’s thinking when they’re suspicious. But what if he actually knows my thoughts. He was in my mind.
‘And now you’re worrying if I can read your thoughts because I was in your mind,’ he says. His face lights up with glee. ‘Maybe this will be fun after all.’
‘Well can you?’ I venture.
‘That’s for me to know and you to find out.’ He smirks, then looks to his left, picking up an ice-cream from a display on a cart while no one looks. I hope he knows how to make things disappear. ‘Shall we?’
I’m more than a little unsettled as we continue into the park with the sun beating down on our invisible backs.
I close my eyes and reach out. The amount of people around me shimmers with the dead and alive. I had wondered why it was so busy.
We walk forward and I find myself uplifted to be around such an abundance of people who share my state of being. I make a mental note to come back here with Penny when I find her. Maybe I’ll introduce her to all my new friends here. If I find them again.
I have an idea. I think and reach out again, this time thinking of Elle and Yates. Before my eyes, everyone seems to dim and two specks appear on the horizon, shining like beacons out of the dark mist. I get excited and think of Penny. The world remains busy and bright with the bustle of the dead walking through the Saturday sun. I’m dismayed for a second. Where is she? Maybe that trick only works short range. If she’s on the other side of the world it’d be near impossible to identity her particular set of atoms out of the mass of everyone else.
‘This way,’ I say. ‘They’re not far.’
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